Two Hands (From Kelli)

Posted by on Apr 22, 2013 in Updates | 14 Comments

Every morning I wake up, and throughout each day, I hold two opposing views – one in each hand.

In one hand is the reality that Will’s doctors labeled his cancer “non-curable.” They have no treatments, surgeries, or options that will heal Will and restore is body. Will’s pain is great, and he has been and continues to physically suffer. We are not naïve to the horrors of this situation. It’s bad. Very bad.

But then, there’s the other hand. This hand holds the hope and belief that Will can and will be healed. That I worship and serve a God, who has the power to raise the dead. That there is nothing in Will’s body that is too big or too far along for God to heal and bring complete restoration.

It is these two hands that I hold up, side-by-side, each day. I walk along the tension line between them. To not acknowledge one and only focus on the other is to kid myself. But to hold both and acknowledge both equally is incredibly difficult. It means I must hope, while realizing that death might be close. It means I must watch suffering and pain like I’ve never seen before, and believe that physical, earthly healing is possible.

Some days, I do this better than others. I long for Will to be fully restored to the brother-in-law and friend I know and love, who I’ve spent countless hours with talking about life, laughing, and sharing hopes. I can’t bear the thought of him not being a part of my life, and my family’s life, for the next 40, 50, 60 years.

But, I believe in not knowing what each day holds for Will (and for me, for that matter), I must pray for courage to walk between these tensions. To hold both hands equally before me, everyday. I believe that I must do this to best serve and walk alongside Will and Angie. Lord, give me strength. Give us all the strength to do this.

14 Comments

  1. Sue Frederick-Heineman
    April 27, 2013

    Kelli,
    Your Parke County Prayer Warriors continue to lift up your family with prayers. I pray for your inner peace and outer strength while I pray for Will healing.

    Reply
  2. Carolyn Lockett
    April 25, 2013

    Rise up William Gray, by faith and grace you are healed!

    Reply
  3. Summer Allison
    April 24, 2013

    Faith of a child. I have a 4 year old daughter, a child. Her faith is perfect. It knows no doubt, it knows no fear. When we pray together for William, when I cry out to God to heal our sweet, precious friend, she tells me, “Don’t cry, Mommy. William is going to be fine, everyday! He’s not going to die.” THAT is the faith we are supposed to have in our mighty God! Child-like faith. And we must remember to NOT look at our circumstances that surround us (even tho, I agree, reality IS there). We can’t make the mistake Peter made when he took his eyes off Jesus on the water. This is what keeps me going every day, this is what gives me the most hope. My 4 year old daughter. Her unshaken faith. May we all strive to have that kind of strong, unshaken faith in our God. God bless!!! xoxo

    Reply
  4. Tom S. Coke
    April 24, 2013

    I’m the father of Becky Coke, who attended the music school at Martha’s Vineyard a while back and was a few years behind Will. Your updates on Will reflect my beliefs better than I could express them myself. I continue to pray for Will and the situation. I hope I can handle suffering as well as you have should something similar come my way.

    Reply
  5. Enid Roberts
    April 24, 2013

    My continued prayers are with you Will and Angie. Everything is possible, it is his will not ours. I marvel in your continued faith I am a friend of Martha and David..

    Reply
  6. Judy
    April 24, 2013

    I am raising my two hands to God asking for relief and peace for all of you. Our God is amazing and we will never give up on hope. May God surround you all in his warm healing light and bring you rest and peace. oxox

    Reply
  7. Melanie
    April 23, 2013

    Two hands and a heart lifting Will, Angie and all who are there and caring for them.

    Reply
  8. Christa
    April 23, 2013

    Yes. That’s it exactly Kelli! I too walk that tension line. I guess we all should, all the time.
    Here are two more hands, raised in joyful hope. He is ONLY and ever GOOD!

    Reply
  9. Laurie Dhonau
    April 23, 2013

    Two more hands raised in praise and petition . . .

    Reply
  10. Beth
    April 23, 2013

    And it feels like giving in
    It feels like starting over
    It feels like waking up and you know it’s coming
    It feels like a brand new day, open your eyes

    Reply
  11. Julia Helt
    April 23, 2013

    Kelli, What I know God can do is not always what he does. But we believe his will is best . I believe God can cure the cancer in Will’s body . God sees the big picture . I pray for strength for all of you. Angie , Will, Kelli , John. Parents, friends and the list goes on. Caregivers , Dr. Pastors. Will ,your story has touched so many and your story goes on. Keeping you in our prayers.

    Reply
  12. Carol & Gordon Johnson
    April 23, 2013

    So beautifully, stated, Kelli. Will is surrounded by angels and I sense that you are one of them. Praying for Will and Angie daily.

    Reply
  13. Catherine Culley
    April 23, 2013

    Please know that I too have two hands and they are together praying for you all.

    Reply

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