I'm sorry for the lack of communication lately. It's been hard to know what to say or to have the focus to sit down and write. I want to say that everything is going really smoothly and Will is getting better everyday, but the truth is, very few days go smoothly and Will will do really well for a couple days and then have a set back. It seems like it's always 2 steps forward, one step back or 1 step forward and then 3 steps back. So, it's just hard to say and therefore I don't say anything.
Our days continue on and so does this battle. Yesterday, Will told me it feels like a street fight is happening in his body. Today, he compared it to a civil war. But, even though there is a war happening inside his body...he is still here. We are at 7 weeks since we found out and inching near 8 weeks come Friday.
Friday night the AC in our apartment went out and with temperatures in the upper 90s, our apartment heated up rather quickly. At around 3:30am, the heat was so bad that Will woke up because he couldn't breath and his heart was racing. We hooked up the larger oxygen mask for him and called the hospice nurse. I think the fear of not being able to breath caused a panic attack which then increased the intensity of everything he was already feeling. Eventually he stabilized and we ended up just sleeping with our front door wide open to keep it cool. The next day Will was so wiped out that he stayed in bed and slept all day. It was the first day in about 2 weeks that we didn't go outside. That day seems to have been a pretty major setback. After spending the entire day in bed, he lost most of the strength he had worked so hard to gain. Saturday, ended up being a difficult night as well and again Sunday he was pretty wiped out.
We were referred to a homeopathic doctor in Santa Monica and Will started seeing her last week. After such a difficult weekend, Will woke up Monday and had enough strength to go down to Santa Monica. If he is able, we will go twice a week, for him to get Vitamin C IVs. She is also keeping up with his blood work and all the supplements. She was very honest about what she may and may not be able to do, but she is willing to do all that she can. Of course, I would love for someone to say "this is exactly what we'll do and I know it will work", but I respect and appreciate her honesty. We've gone twice now and Will has done really well both times. It is taxing for him so we'll just take it one appointment at a time.
This morning, Will was once again incredibly tired, but as the day went on his energy seemed to increase and we even made it back out to the pool. When we came inside, Will watched some NBA playoff highlights. It's the little things that I never would have given a thought about in the past, that now feel like Christmas. Anything Will does that brings some sense of enjoyment to his life is a beautiful thing. I never would have thought that hearing Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith talk about Dwyane Wade's knee would bring me such joy, but today it did.
Tonight a friend came over and we started talking about the book of John. It was beautiful to hear Will share his thoughts, to read, and pray. He was very engaged and was able to think and process more than I think he had in quite awhile.
Even though all of these amazing moments have taken place, Will is still in extreme pain and is very weak. Sometimes I forget the intensity of his constant pain because he is so calm and patient with it and is never snappy. But, as I watch him struggle more and more to get out of bed or to take a step, I am quickly reminded of the pain that he never gets to forget about. The pain in his chest seems to be the worst, but he now has pain in his left hip and right lower back as well. At times he also seems more tired and less energetic. But, then out of no where he'll get a burst of energy and want to get up and go outside or look at his phone or sit in the wheelchair. It's amazing. It brings life all around. The apartment will feel so quiet and at times really discouraging or even depressing and then Will pops up and it's like the apartment comes alive and is filled with energy and hope and joy. It bring color to life. He brings color to life.
GIVE MONEY
13 Comments
Betty
May 20, 2013Psalms 139:23-24 ” Search me, O GOD, and know my heart: try me and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Will and Angie…may GOD give you comfort and peace at this time of chaos. May his promises be imprinted in your hearts. May GOD pour out the floodgates of Heaven and speak to the both of you of how wonderfully LOVED you both are. Stand firm and press on….will keep you in my prayers.
Beth Kirkpatrick
May 19, 2013Is there any remover of difficulty save God? Please, in your Son’s name I pray, heal Will Gray. Thinking of you and praying for you.
Michele in Georgia
May 18, 2013God Bless you Will. Your name says it all, you have a very strong will and
complete Faith. Our prayers are with you.
Jeannie & Jerry Herbert
May 16, 2013love & prayers. Angie, thank you so much for your posts.
Mike and Nancy LaRocco
May 16, 2013Dear Will and Angie, God has not forgotten you. May His compassion and power of His love hold you through every night. You are on his heart every minute of the day. We are all holding you up in prayer continuously. Keep pushing through, keep believing for your miracle. We are standing with you.
Nathan
May 15, 2013Praying for you guys. Keep singing, Will. There is healing power in sound –
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1570629552/ref=pd_aw_sim_b_1?pi=SL500_SY115
Danae (Schurch) Marquis
May 15, 2013God still needs Will here! And how amazing the way God uses a willing servant even at his worst times. Praying hard!
Shane Decker
May 15, 2013Angie were you able to get your air conditioning fixed?
I pray for you both every night!
Much love
Shane
Sherri
May 15, 2013Continued prayers…
matt and nancy
May 15, 2013Will and Angie we continue to pray for the two of you.
John
May 15, 2013Thank you for the beautiful update Angie!
I am in complete agreement – I can’t believe that ever hearing Skip Bayless and Stephen A Smith talk about anything would ever be such a beautiful thing – but on this day, I am sure it was! Oh how I have wished to talk basketball (amongst a thousand other things) with Will again! I love you both so much and am praying for God’s love and Christ’s perseverance (2 Thessalonians 3:5) in your lives each and everyday.
Kaisha
May 15, 2013I wish the best! and i continuously pray!!
Amber
May 15, 2013Thank You for sharing Angie. I check every morning to see if there is an update and I always expect to read something positive. I have never met either of you but we pray for you often. I can’t imagine sitting where you sit as I am sure you never imagined yourself there either. I will say that you sit there with more grace and more trust than most would and it is very humbling to me and a great reminder of how fragile this life is and what really matters. Thank you for that. Please know that all of this is not in vain!! My prayer is that the kingdom is expanding this very moment because of the testimony of both you and your dear Will. May God POUR down his peace and comfort on both of you!!!! <3 Blessings to you sweet sister and know that thousands of people are praying and I for one can only see this thing getting better from here!!!!! May the days to come just keep getting better in JESUS NAME!!!!!!!