We once again found ourselves in the ER last night with extreme pain. So much so that Will could not be lifted out of the wheelchair and into the recliner.
I have no words for the day we’ve had. Will has had so much pain, discomfort, difficulty breathing, sweats, panic attacks. All my heart could repeat was “How long, oh Lord, will you forget us?”
I don’t know that a verse has ever felt so real and applicable as this one did today for Will and me:
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13)
Even after the last few days we’ve had, and the fact that with each day we seem to have less and less to give, Will and I continue on with every moment we’re given. One of Will’s doctors asked him about his facial expression which he was making from the pain, and Will responded: “Was it a ferocious, determined tiger look?” — and for added effect, he included hand gestures.
I am continually amazed by him.
Lord, will you please show your compassion? We are desperate.