Desperation & Determination (From Angie)

Posted by on Jul 11, 2013 in Updates | 28 Comments

We once again found ourselves in the ER last night with extreme pain. So much so that Will could not be lifted out of the wheelchair and into the recliner.

I have no words for the day we’ve had. Will has had so much pain, discomfort, difficulty breathing, sweats, panic attacks. All my heart could repeat was “How long, oh Lord, will you forget us?”

I don’t know that a verse has ever felt so real and applicable as this one did today for Will and me:

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,

and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13)

Even after the last few days we’ve had, and the fact that with each day we seem to have less and less to give, Will and I continue on with every moment we’re given. One of Will’s doctors asked him about his facial expression which he was making from the pain, and Will responded: “Was it a ferocious, determined tiger look?” — and for added effect, he included hand gestures.

I am continually amazed by him.

Lord, will you please show your compassion? We are desperate.


  1. Mindi
    July 15, 2013

    Everything about his response gives me the chills. Thanks for being so diligent in updating this, even in the midst of your own stress, emotional pain and confusion. Please know that we’re behind you at every step.

  2. Marianne Kesler
    July 14, 2013

    We too cry out this Psalm for and with you…much love, Marianne & John

  3. Cindy Judge
    July 13, 2013

    Dear ones, God has not forgotten or rejected you or your pleas. He is with you, at your side, and suffering alongside you. He is very acquainted with pain and grief and knows that this world is full of pain. He is preparing a place for you that you will thrive in and that you will have all of eternity to be all that He created you to be. All of us pray for this time in your life only looking forward.


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