We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to the new year!
We wanted to update you on the past few weeks… They have once again brought highs and lows.
Will went in to see pulmonary and they believe the blood clot has dissolved on it’s own! They also did another ultrasound of his legs and they were clear! Will is healing well and quickly.
Will’s pain management and side effects have still been a challenge. He had a great week and half a few weeks ago! We were feeling very hopeful that it would only get better until radiation. Then this past week, he had another setback. We ended up in the ER again on Friday night. Will was very sick and in a lot of pain. After a very long 10 hours, he was discharged. He was dehydrated and had a lot of inflammation at the surgical site. He is now on a new pain medicine and a 3rd antibiotic. He goes in to see the maxiofacial surgeon tomorrow, who will hopefully be able to fix the obturator which was causing the irritation.
Will started speech pathology and is doing really well. Currently, he is working on strengthening the muscles used for swallowing and the muscles around his voice box.
We also decided that moving from our apartment was no longer a choice, but a necessity for Will’s recovery. Our previous apartment was an older complex that was not the healthiest environment for him. We were able to find a new place in the same neighborhood and are extremely thankful for it! It is all around a better place for health and recovery.
With all of this back and forth, exhaustion has definitely set in…emotionally and physically. The days of survival mode and little to no sleep have caught up with us. We are still doing our best to hold on to hope and joy and love in every way. We see it all around us, but each day that we are given love, we are also faced with pain and suffering. It is definitely a challenge to choose to focus on the love and hope. Some days we do this better than others. We are very aware that we are not the only ones facing great trial and pain. Many friends have also experienced great loss recently, as well as the world around us. It’s hard to find hope and love in the midst of it. It’s hard to even want to see it. Sometimes I want to cry and I don’t want to be told it’s going to be okay. All I see is right now, and right now, this is not okay. No one should ever have to go through this. No one should have to watch someone go through this. But, then I am reminded that we are in great company of a suffering world. I wish it were not so, with all my heart, I wish that no one had to go through such suffering. Through this experience Will and I have a deeper and greater sense of the meaning of these words. Our definition of suffering, of pain, of love and hope…they have deepened. Our capacity to love and be loved has grown. Our need for other people, all of you, has become clearer. The range of feeling, of experiencing, have all grown. I’m glad that we know more of how much we need each other and all of you. I want to live in a world where we care deeply for each other and we know that we are experiencing it, as we have been so deeply cared for. I know that Will’s life and health and recovery are because we have been blessed with thousands and thousands of people who are with us in this journey. We don’t even know a lot of you, but you all are with us, you pray for us, you bring us meals, and take Will to appointments. You send us cards and come to see us. You give us hugs and send messages. You have sent us packages and come to stay with us to help take care of him. You have brought us groceries and given us gifts to make the days a little easier. You have used your individual skills and connections to help us. You let me take care of your beautiful, happy children where I am reminded of the joys that can be found in such little things.
Our range of suffering has grown, but our range of joy and love has as well.
During this Christmas season, we were more aware than ever of the suffering world that Jesus came into, to live and give life. Why things were the way they were then, or are the way they are now, I don’t know. But, I’m thankful He came. I’m thankful that there is hope in Him. I’m thankful for His love and the abundance of care we have been given. We have been given more than we could ever have imagined and much more than we deserve.
We hope you are all blessed with a 2013 that gives you more love, hope, and joy than you have ever known!