A note from Angie
We are officially home and trying to adjust to all that it brings. Will is doing okay and seems a little better and more present since coming home. He even had enough strength to go to church today, which was incredibly beautiful. I wanted to hold on to every moment and wished it would never end.
Hospice is in full effect with round the clock nurses yesterday and starting today a nurse 8 hours a day and on call. Sitting in the nurses station at the hospital, speaking with the hospice representative is something no one should ever have to go through. I was listening to her, thinking “How did we end up here?” “How am I a 32 year old wife planning hospice care for my husband?” “No one this young should have to answer these questions or make these decisions.” It was so surreal and incredibly difficult. But I want to assure you all that us choosing hospice is not going home to give up. We are fighting harder than ever. We are not giving up on Will and he is not giving up either. We have no idea what the future holds and there are moments that we are overcome with heartache and discouragement. Then in the next breath there is hope and peace. And sometimes both in the same breath. But, our hope is in Christ and trusting that his will is good and even if our peace in this truth is not constant, it is real. In that we also have the freedom to try everything we can as a cure. I don’t know if any of it will work. I don’t know if Will will one day wake up completely healed. I don’t know if Will will see his next birthday. But the truth is, none of us know if we’ll see our next birthday. Will is still here and I will never give up on him. The situation is bad. This can not be denied. I have felt sorrow to the point of it physically hurting and shaking my body, uncontrollable sobbing, not being able to stand or walk on my own from crying so hard. Feeling so sick that I couldn’t eat for days. I have felt emotional pain that I have never felt before and would not wish upon anyone. My heart breaks and then breaks more until I felt there was nothing left to break. But, as a friend told me awhile back when I was sharing about my fear of what the future might hold, he said all we have is now. And, right now, Will is here. He is alive. He is living and loving and crying and laughing. He is holding hands and hugging and sharing stories and cracking jokes. And, all of this in the few hours a day that he’s awake. Our days are no more guaranteed than his. So whether his last day in near or if his body begins to heal and his last day is years from now, I know we have the moment we’re in and we want to live that moment well. Will has taught and is teaching me how to do that. He has shown me how to live and love now.
Steve DalmerApril 4, 2013
Will & Angie,
I am thinking of you both a lot and sending my prayers. I have been keeping in touch with Dan these past months, please know all of us here at UFO are thinking of you, and will always be here to help in sharing your music and talent with the world.
Gomez Family OregonApril 4, 2013
Angie and Will, so moved with your story, the sharing of your message above and the video clip. Know you are covered with prayers and just believing for God’s grace and covering on you both. You are loved and cared for!…. God is our comfort and peace, both in good times and in tough times. Phil 4:6-7
George, Jessie, Sarah & Michael
rachel sandhuApril 3, 2013
Angie, your words brought tears to my eyes. Prayed for you and Will tonight. My husband had cancer as a teenager and I sometimes fear it will return. But your testimony to trust God with the future and live in the present moments He is giving is a real encouragement to me.
Stacey sainApril 3, 2013
Sending prayers your way for healing. Your faith is remarkable.
amanda hopkinsApril 3, 2013
Kyle and I are praying for you both. You are both amazing.
bgApril 3, 2013
I don’t know you or Will. We have some mutual friends though through which I came to know about Will’s situation. I have followed these updates and have said many a prayer for you two. I suspect that there are hundreds or possilbly even thousands like me that feel connected to your story despite us having never met. I pray first and foremost for Will’s healing. And I pray that should the Lord find in His wisdom that healing not take place, that He would give you strength, wisdom, and most importantly, His peace. I pray that is arms of love would wrap around you and carry you through this most difficult of times.
Michele TarverApril 3, 2013
I have been following your lives during this tragedy from afar. I visit PCC infrequently because a friend of mine is a member there. I listen to Rankin’s messgae each week and just finished listening to Easter Sunday’s right now. I am devastated by what I heard. My heart is breaking for your both, and even though I know God is fathful and true, I am grieving your suffering. You are two of the most beautiful spirits, and God is going to use the lives of the both of you to inspire and CHANGE LIVES FOR HIS GLORY! Thank you for sharing your hearts, your faith, and even your suffering. God be with you and His army of angels be encamped about you both at all times for the rest of both of your lives! All of God’s love to you both, and everyone in your families as well, in Jesus’ name, AMEN! xo
Tammy BullockApril 3, 2013
Amazed at God’s love and grace shown through you and Will. .You are right, all we have is now, I pray that His peace enables you both to live fully in the now, and so thankful for the strength that God has put in you two. You are a powerful witness to for the Lord!
God bless you, Angie!
LeahApril 3, 2013
sending thoughts and love from a friend of a friend…and wishing you strength and peace.
Sabrina LApril 2, 2013
Still praying for & thinking of you both.
Your thoughts here, Angie, and Easter are such wonderful reminders that we are but sojourners passing through & one day will be with God in our resurrection bodies…perfect, whole, just as God designed and intended all along…free from suffering & sickness & sadness.
Still praying for a miracle & for God’s peace & rest amidst the heartache & fight.
Lots of love,
Leesa DeanApril 2, 2013
Angie & Will: don’t know you, but just heard about Will and his situation from a FB friend, Roger Cramer, and my heart goes out to you guys. Will, you are brilliantly brilliantly talented, which makes reading some of these updates even more wrenching. Your dignity, grace and light is an inspiration. Wishing you both unfettered strength and sending enormous healing thoughts and love. Wishing/hoping for a miracle.