Plans have been made to bring Will home tomorrow. This will allow Angie and Will to share the time they have, together, in their own home. Hospice will come to assist in their time at home.
Will went through radiation again this morning as the doctors seek to shrink the tumor near his spinal cord to keep it from paralyzing him. The pain is immense and unfathomable. He had one more treatment this evening and now will no longer continue treatments.
The prospect of life and waiting for a miracle dampens a bit each day. Will continues to fight amidst great pain. “Why were you so anxious to get out of bed today?” Will is asked. “I don’t want to die,” he softly responds. Angie continues to fight right alongside him. “I love him so much. I don’t want to see him go,” she says, tears in her eyes.
Will and Angie are so thankful for all the support. I know they aren’t able to express it to each person individually but the cards, packages, donations, calls, messages, visits are so very encouraging as they know there is an army of people around them in this world caring, supporting, and praying for them. The #goteamgray site even crashed this week due to so much traffic. The love is felt.
On this Holy Week, Will reminds me of a suffering Jesus. He is going through almost every pain imaginable. “Do you need anything Will?” one asks. He whispers, “Everything.” We all laugh at the humor/harsh truth of his statement. And yet through his pain… he prays, he believes, he inspires, he loves. His faith is probably stronger than anyone’s in the room. Ministers come in and are ministered to by him.
He is asked by his pastor, “How are you processing everything?” Will responds, “I haven’t. I don’t know. I just try to love people when they come in.” He fades for a moment as his eyes roll back, exhausted from the day and then continues, “There’s really nothing else to do than love everyone who comes in the door.”
Angie reminds me of the Jesus we see in the Garden of Gethsemane. She cries out to God constantly on Will’s behalf. Her tears would be tears of blood if not for holding them back for the sake of hope. She asks us to pray with her. We pray together and over Will, we read Scriptures over Will, we fast together in hopes of a miracle. Every time I visit, it is easy, like Jesus’ disciples, to quickly grow weary – sleepless nights, fasting, crying out – and yet Angie has gone 7 months of sleepless nights, and little food, and constant prayer and yet she seems to have more energy and life than those of us who’ve been here a couple days – surely its her love for Will and hope in God that sustains her. I picture her looking at me and my sister like Jesus did his disciples, “Are you still sleeping and resting?!” We must continue to pray. And we do.
Will’s brother Michael leaned over at the table to tell the Ross family, “Angie is pretty special. She is amazing. So amazing. So amazing. The love and care she shows Will, the devotion, it’s rare. It’s special.” Michael goes on to say, “I told Will, you sure have good taste, you picked a great one.” Will smiles and responds, “Yeeah.” And Will’s dad adds, “No one could have taken better care of William than Angie has.”
Angie’s sister Kelli talks about their relationship saying, “their relationship reminds me of Ephesians 5:22-33…except its opposite. Angie is loving Will as her own body.” Angie has told us before, “I feel his pains. When something in him hurts, I hurt in the same place.” She cares for him as Christ does the church and offers undying love. In that, William never gets frustrated, is never demanding with Angie, but is submissive to her wishes knowing that she has laid down her life for him and truly desires what is best for him.
The balance between physical reality and what we know to be true of the hope we have in our Lord is a balance none of us can understand.
We continue to hope. We continue to pray. Angie continues to research cures and methods of healing. And at the same time, we prepare for services and what steps will need to be taken if the Lord chooses to take Will.
The realities are hard to fathom. We all love Will so much. So much.
Will has had so many visitors near and far who love him come to visit. (For the latest on visitors, please see this post.) One of Will’s best friends (there’s about 75 of us who feel like Will is a best friend) Jonathan prays as we gathered around Will this evening that as Jesus cried out in the Garden begging for His life on this same Good Friday so many years ago, we ask the same thing for Will’s life.
Oh God, we pray for an Easter miracle.