We made it through the first full week at An Oasis of Healing. It was an incredible week, but it was exhausting and difficult. It seemed as though every moment was full, and if it wasn’t we were almost paralyzed by our exhaustion. I don’t know if it’s everything catching up to us or what… but we are tired!
The week was filled with multiple treatments that address cancer from every angle. And, in just a week and a half there are already small signs of improvement… Will seems stronger and is moving with a bit more ease. He is still in a wheelchair, but he has been able to stand straight when changing positions. He has been able to get out of bed with only my help instead of me and 2 other people. He has been able to lift his legs using his leg muscles instead of lifting his legs with is hands. He also was able to go down a bit in his pain medicine as the pain has slightly decreased. He still has pain in his hip and chest that at times can be pretty bad, but most of the time it isn’t as bad as it was and the pain in his shoulder has completely gone away. They are going to slowly and very slightly decrease the meds and see how he does.
And, the highlight of the week… we went on a date! This was our first date in many months. We went to a movie and Will stayed awake throughout the entire movie!
We ended up going out again on Father’s Day to see a movie with my parents. I think this new desire to be more active is the most exciting improvement. This was starting to show itself while we were at home, but it came and went. Those months that I watched Will’s desire to do anything slip away was one of the hardest things. For anyone who knows Will, knows that he is full of passion and not a minute would go by that he wasn’t thinking of a new idea or project or coming up with song ideas or just thinking about anything and everything. To watch him stare at the wall every moment he wasn’t sleeping and to ask him what he was thinking with the response always being “nothing” was heartbreaking and almost more than I could bear. A couple of months ago he starting asking for the computer, wanted to watch a few basketball highlights, we went to the pool, then he was able to have conversations and talk about his thoughts… he starting having thoughts again. Now, he is also wanting to go out and explore and do things. It’s wonderful!
Will is still really tired and has a long road ahead of him (I pray that he does in fact have a long road ahead of him… or a short road; I just pray there is a road) but these small improvements are beautiful to see and we are both very hopeful that there will be more. But, as none of us knows what our future holds, we are cherishing every moment — moments that we probably shouldn’t even have together right now.
We are enjoying the new people that we spend each day with. We’re trying to take it all one step at time. Will’s motto right now is “little by little.” That can be really hard when you just want it all to end and go back to a place of normalcy, but for some reason this is our journey — as terrible and horrific and crazy and even as beautiful at times that it has all been — here we are in the next phase of it. We are beyond thankful for God’s mercy to us that there could even be a “next phase.”