Yesterday we were faced with the question… Do you want to continue with treatment or go back home on hospice? We have seen improvement, but the fact that Will has lost all mobility is definitely a setback. It’s a difficult question to answer. I can’t imagine the helplessness that Will feels. It’s takes 2-3 people to move him in and out of the wheelchair and recliner. Will has faced an unbelievable amount of hardship over the past 10 months. He now has to consider the realities of life… Do I want to keep living without an eye? Without half my jaw? At least for now, without the ability to eat or ability to move freely or at all? Do I continue to work and pray that God will spare my life? These are real questions and questions I’m sure you can’t answer unless you are the one living it. But Will doesn’t want to give up and I don’t want to give up on him.
Will is one determined man. He is still fully alert and aware and willing to do whatever it takes to get over this new obstacle. We can’t let this setback stop us from moving forward. If there was any thought left in us of our ability to do anything in and of ourselves, we have now officially been brought to our knees. We face a situation that seems completely impossible. Up until this point, we have always been able to manage, some days were easier than others, but we always got through it. Now we face an obstacle we are completely unable to do. My mom and I are just not physically capable of lifting Will. So, we are all doing what we know to do… we pray harder, we work harder, we trust that God will show his strength in our weakness (and trust this in a very tangible way), and we ask for help. It’s never fun being the one that has to ask for help, but we’ve had to humble ourselves many times over these past months and here we are again.
Will and I believe we will move forward through this new struggle. We won’t give up. The people at the clinic want to fight with us. They encourage us to keep going. Today Will woke up and spent time exercising. He also worked with a man who does bodywork and he was able to get Will laying close to flat. It was painful and hard work but Will did it.
Will has answered the question “Do you want to continue?” with the resounding yes. “Yes, I want to live…without an eye, without half my jaw, without the ability to eat or move, for now. I want to live and I want to work hard to get back what I can.” He has the gift of will and determination without end. I hear him pray the most sincere, loving, heart wrenching prayers, asking for God’s mercy. I see him pushing himself past his limits in almost everything we do. I hear him singing, loving everyone around him, wanting not only to live, but to live out the gifts he was given.
Early next week they are hoping to get the MRI. They will then be able to determine what’s caused the weakness…tumor compression on the spine, compression of the spine from sitting in a wheelchair that is too small for him, from lack of use… hopefully we will know soon and can proceed with treatment accordingly.
Will and I are not giving up and neither are our doctors and we come to you asking for help. Asking for prayers if you pray, for help with moving and lifting Will if you are in the Phoenix area and are able, and for encouragement to continue on in this fight for Will’s life.