I sit here in the hospital room looking at my sweet, loving, determined husband and I feel ready to fight to my own end for his life. I also see an impossible situation in front of us that leaves me feeling so helpless. Cancer throughout his body, unable to open his mouth, unable to stand or walk or even move his toes, legs the size of my arms, 135lbs, so much pain, fluid in his lungs, hooked up to every machine possible. How do we move forward from this… this impossible situation. We are tired. Will’s body is so very tired.
On October 31st our world was turned upside down in a moment. In that moment we put our hope for Will’s life in our Lord, the same Lord that we had our hope in the month before when we had not a clue of what was about to happen. We have been through a hell on earth we never could have imagined, but our hope has not changed. And to us, it doesn’t matter whether it is the day he was diagnosed or if it is today — a day he is lying in a hospital bed unable to even turn himself — our hope for his life is still in the same God who could have delivered him then and can choose to deliver him now if he is willing.
We have all cried out for months. Why Will hasn’t been healed, I don’t know. Why he’s had to go through so much suffering, I don’t know. I’ll never understand why. We trust that all we have been through was part of God’s plan for our lives, so we accept it. And we continue to cry out to him.
Just an hour ago, I was crying and Will looked at me and said, “We serve a mighty God.”
Will wrote these words after he was diagnosed…
“For many of you, I do not know what you believe in or to whom you pray as we ask you to lift us upward. For me, this is quite a wonderful thing to think about. I am a believer/follower of Jesus and the God of the new testament, and I think he, like a great conductor, takes all of our thoughts, hopes, doubts, and fears, and somehow melds them into one beautiful cohesive symphony bound in love.”
We are crying out tonight for our Lord Jesus to heal Will’s body, to spare his life. Will you join us? We don’t know what you believe or if you pray, but will you join us in a “beautiful cohesive symphony bound in love” for this incredible man?