Leaving Los Angeles (From Angie)

Posted by on Aug 18, 2013 in Updates | 16 Comments

Will and my adventure to LA started about 5 years ago… April of 2008.

Back then we were living on Martha’s Vineyard while Will taught songwriting at the Contemporary Music Center. The spring semester had come to an end and our planned next steps had fallen through — not an uncommon experience in our lives. We were leaving our home with no place to go.

We packed up our belongings, dividing our essentials into our little Ford Focus and the rest into a small moving truck we shared with our neighbors, the Wileys. With four adults and one little girl, we started our long drive.

The first big stop was Mount Vernon, OH… the Wiley’s new home. Will and I then continued on to Indiana. I stayed with my parents for a few weeks while Will drove to St. Louis to work on a record with our friend, Ben. After a few weeks at home doing random jobs for my parents, I also made my way to St. Louis. A friend’s mother picked me up at home while my parents were at work and dropped me off at a gas station in Brazil, Indiana — so I could then catch a ride with two CMC students who were going to take me to St. Louis to meet up with Will.

The adventure continued…

Our St. Louis friends, Ben and Mary Beth, were just starting their own adventure by heading to Chicago, so I helped them pack while Ben and Will spent their days producing a record. Will and I spent almost every conversation trying to figure out where we were going to go and what we were going to do. We spent a couple more weeks in St. Louis, wandered around for a another week, and then ended up following Ben and Mary Beth to Chicago, so Ben and Will could produce another record together.

We were able to fit everything we needed in our little car, and we were ready to head in any direction — as soon as we could figure out what that direction was. Will had some work opportunities in LA, and had been out here a few times, but we didn’t know how to make moving here actually work.

One day I was talking on the phone to my friend, Amy, telling her about how we had been living on couches or out of our car for two months and really didn’t know what we should do. She said, “I feel like you guys should go to L.A.” I told Will, and he said he’d been reading about Abraham and felt that we should go there, too. Two weeks later Will and I set out on our road trip.

After about two and a half days of driving, we arrived in Los Angeles at 4am. We pulled up to the apartment where our friends Josh and Allison lived and slept in the car until it was a decent hour to actually knock on their door. I remember that day like it was yesterday; here we were in L.A. without jobs or a place to live… just a few bags, our car, incredible friends, and each other. We slept on Josh and Allison’s floor for a little over a week until we found a little guest house. We were pretty nervous about trying to find housing, considering neither of us had jobs and we had no guarantee of ever paying our rent, but the landlord of this particular place said we had “a good aura,” so he let us move in.

We loved it. It was tiny.  It had no dishwasher, no washer and dryer, and no AC .  We quickly learned that having AC in the San Fernando Valley is a necessity and not a luxury.  But it had a lot of natural light, a lemon tree, and an avocado tree (that, sadly, only produced one edible avocado — but it was a fruit tree in L.A. nonetheless). We spent the first three months without furniture. Every night we piled up our blankets and slept on the floor.  After a couple weeks of this and a lot of itching later, we discovered that street cats had been coming in the broken screen door and had given us fleas.  Our little guest house had a small step inside going down to the living room, and Josh and Allison had given us some little tables, so we sat there on that step day after day looking for work, eating our PB&J, laughing and crying about what we had just done.

We met wonderful neighbors and crazy ones. Almost nightly, a helicopter spotlight would shine in our windows, looking for someone who we certainly hoped was not in our yard. We experienced the daily drug deals right in front of the main house. But, with all of it, we settled in. I found work as a nanny and Will took on a bunch of random jobs while his mind raced with everything he hoped to accomplish.

One belief Will lived by daily was “making things flesh.” It wasn’t enough for him to have a great idea, it had to become a reality and he wouldn’t stop until it did. In our five years in L.A., Will wrote hundreds of songs, filmed a documentary, signed a publishing deal to Warner/Chappell, released an EP and the soundtrack to Broke*, and went on a few different tours. He brainstormed with numerous people who were also trying to figure out their next steps, he did graphic design for himself and others, he was a consultant for other bands. He read and studied everything he could about music, business, art, and culture. He led a community group, volunteered in our church, and he developed friendships with neighbors, co-workers, and Philip, the homeless man on our street.

We set out that summer in 2008 without a clue what was ahead of us. If, back then, I would’ve been asked, “Where do you want to be in 5 years?” where I am now, five years later, is most definitely not at all where I would want to be. Not even close. But when I look back on all that has happened in the past five years, Will turned almost every idea into “flesh.” The only reason why any of his ideas are not real right now is that his new ideas never stopped.

This journey to Los Angeles has led to so many memories, funny stories, and incredible life-long friendships, but in some ways it has come to an end for me. The good memories I have are now overshadowed by the memories of this place that torment me almost constantly. The daily pain of losing Will is too much for me to bear, and the images of him suffering for the last ten months are torture. In the hopes of easing some of the pain and bringing back more of the good memories, I have decided to leave L.A. in the next couple of weeks.

I will miss living life with our friends here. I will miss the deep relationships that have been built, and I will forever be thankful to Pacific Crossroads Church, to the Warner/Chappell family, to Will’s music community here, and to all our Los Angeles friends who have loved and cared for us in such selfless ways.

Thank you for loving us all of these years, and particularly this last year.

# # #

Angie, speaking on behalf of the entire #GoTeamGray community, it was, and continues to be a true joy to love you both dearly. Forever.

16 Comments

  1. Meghan
    August 22, 2013

    Continually in prayer for you Angie. Word can’t express…we wish you healing, redemption, and to be surrounded by peace. Love, Meghan and Josh

    Reply
  2. Autumn
    August 20, 2013

    You will continue to be in my prayers……

    Reply
  3. The Beans:: Melissa, TJ and Aiden
    August 20, 2013

    Prayers without ceasing for you sweet Angie. Love you and if you need anything remember we’re here. May God restore your strength… in His time and your’s… take the time you need sweet friend. Love love love…. the Beans

    Reply
  4. Betty
    August 19, 2013

    Angie,

    May GOD give you the serenity and peace you much need during this time. I cannot imagine what you may be going through but I do believe that GOD having Will next to Him is looking at you…and will wait for that one day there will be a great reunion.

    Take care of yourself.

    Reply
  5. Joyce
    August 19, 2013

    God bless you Angie and may the Holy Spirit be in you and with you throughout your time in search of a new way of living your life…loving Will yet letting him go and eventually carrying on with life. As he would have wanted you to do.

    Reply
  6. Amanda Opelt
    August 19, 2013

    Angie- still praying for you……

    Reply
  7. Claire
    August 19, 2013

    Angie, the pain and grief are unimaginable. But you are not alone and never are. However long this journey will be, hide in the shadow of the Almighty and there you will find rest. All our love are with you.

    Reply
  8. Ruby Amanfu
    August 19, 2013

    Oceans of love to you, Angie, and hopes that you find a place to breathe a little better soon. If your journeys ever bring you to Nashville, come to my door. We will eat homemade pie and ice cream. Lots of it. xoxoxoxoRuby

    Reply
  9. Colleen and Tony Bonilla
    August 19, 2013

    Dearest Angie, we know the journey has been long and hard. We pray for traveling mercies as you search to find where home is without Will by your side; that having reached this new home, you will find true rest and healing there. May the pain and grief subside with each passing day, and may you soon wake to find comfort in the rich memories of your life with Will. Even after all the struggle and loss, we pray you will find life abundant, as is His promise to each of us. Go with God.

    Reply
  10. Amber Clark-Runyan
    August 19, 2013

    Love u Angie!!!! U will always have a place here anytime!!!

    Reply
  11. John
    August 19, 2013

    Love you Angie. Thank you for sharing your life and adventures. We believe in you and are with you wherever you may go. I am devastated at life’s turns. I’ve learned so much from how you and Will live. It is a joy and a pain in reading this post. I will forever remember and cherish my times in LA with you and Will. Love you so much.

    Reply
  12. Mary Nasser
    August 19, 2013

    Dear Angie,
    Thank you for sharing so eloquently your journey with us. As a pcc member and someone who has grown to love you through this blog, I will be sad to most likely miss meeting you. However, I am encouraged by your strength and healthy choices. Please continue to share with us as you feel led. I can see that you are creating a masterpiece through this platform that will no doubt bless many for years to come.
    Grace and peace to you,
    Love,
    Mary

    Reply
  13. Kevin Robbins
    August 19, 2013

    Angie, I’ve always loved this song, it breaks my heart a lil more now, and will probably touch you even more than it does me so don’t listen til you’re ready…. But this is my friend Brian Webb the friend I went to support the night I met scratch track. One of my favorite songs ” leaving Atlanta” it’s almost too fitting

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tta7NlG6YfM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    Reply
  14. Maemoe
    August 19, 2013

    Hugs, Angie.

    Reply
  15. Jennifer
    August 19, 2013

    Well, to start off I just want to say how much yall inspired me and in Soooo many ways. I will cherish the friendship I formed with the two of YOU (and Mom of course). I enjoyed meeting your friends I have to say you go through life and may have MANY AQUANTAINCES but it is so rare for someone to have SO MANY TRUE FRIENDS THAT YOU WILL HAVE FOR LIFE AND I HOPE YOU CONSIDER ME AS ONE BC I DO FOR SURE!!!! I don’t know where you plan on going BUT I’m back in Louisiana inbetween jobs and I have a two bedroom and two bathroom house. They have a pool in our community (live in an association of townhouses and is very quiet. You are in walking distance of TONS of stores and restaurants. Most of the time I’m home I stay at moms in Patterson (40mins south). I can meet you there if u want company or let you rest or bring a friend. I just wanted to offer you maybe a Lil “break” from the craziest . Like I said even if I’m not that familiarity that seems to surround you. I know know some parts you’ll never or ‘escape” but maybe one day you. The only cost to u would be the flight which o have a feeling would be taken care of. I know you a great deal going on and I don’t want to that you have to do this now. The offer is ALWAYS there for you and whomever. I literally live 5 mins from the airport. Let me know and we can always set it up. Hang in there and know you and your family are extremely loved and seem to have lots of support. I hope you take advantage of a Lil get away and like I said the only thing u have to worry about is the flight bc I’ll coverthe rest. Please 5loconsider. Miss u and luv yall so much. And o have to apologize I haven’t be sleeping since back home (a week) think besides u know my lack of sleep I’m still trying to get back to this time zone. So you don’t need to decide now but I’d really like to see you and whomever you bring if you do I’m so sorry for typos or confusing statements but I’m actually getting tired for a change but I wanted to write u bc I think about yall so much and (remember I’m from a small town so obits r in the paper) and yesterday William Gray was there. My heart sank but I had a horrible day bc had gotten in a wreck and bad news from my lupus Dr. So my point, even though it was a death, it was will the typical Will. I was upset and just seeing the name I smiled so much. So I really will end now bc Lord only knows what I typed and I HOPE u can read my blurry mess. Please consider my offer and anything you need. Miss and luv yall and thanks for blessing my life so much. Jen ( Louisiana )

    Reply
  16. The Nolen & Byars
    August 18, 2013

    Prayers for you ….true blessing …are in store for you…good luck…

    Reply

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